Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Lost: One weekend.

If anyone has any details as to what the hell happened to me at the weekend after a few (too many) alcoholic beverages were consumed, please email me (address found on my profile.

Reward: a night out with me.

If it helps, I was Reading festival...

Monday, August 21, 2006


So Holly’s friend says he misses me because I am crazy. He works in a mental hospital and he thinks I’m crazy?! Oh dear...

Sunday, August 13, 2006


We lost on the opening game of the season again. Boo. What a load of crap. Things have been so positive leading up to yesterdays game and then the boys play crap. They lacked commitment and never got into the game. So disappointed.

Still, I am now officially a member of staff at CUFC, granted I am only volunteering in the Club Shop on match days but it is a foot in the door. Before too long I will be manager....ha ha ha.

Thursday, July 13, 2006


On 17th June I moved to London, hence the lack of posts and updates. I don’t have the best internet access at the mo but I am LOVING being back in the city. Am in the lovely area of Shepherds Bush, living with 4 other people who are all lovely and am about 2 minutes from the Empire and the Walkabout. Fantastic!

To celebrate the move I went to a gig!! The Foos at Hyde Park and they were awesome. Dave Grohl is god. It was one of the best gigs I have ever been to and you know I have been to A LOT.

Since moving I have got a cracking job in Fulham with some lovely people (although they lead me astray with alcohol….), joined the gym (and actually been!!), joined a cricket team (!), started cycling to work everyday and caught up with my lovely friends. It is wicked.

I will update more when I can but just thought I would let you know that I was still alive and kicking!

Download, Download, Download

Right, now Download was aaaages ago but I did promise a post about it. Unfortunately there aren’t any photos mainly due to the fact that Si wasn’t there. I only ever get photos if I was a the event with Si. I am useless at remembering my camera and on the off chance I have remembered to take my camera I either forget I have it, lose it or am too drunk to take photos!!

Anyway, back to the festival…..Alex and I arrived about 9pm and then proceeded to the Englishman’s favourite pastime – queue. We finally got our tents pitched and the beer open by about 11.30pm and proceeded to get drunk. Very drunk. We met up with Alex’s work mate, Baz and watched some classic rock karaoke then went back to the tents and drank until dawn. I don’t really remember it…..Woke up about midday in a pool of sweat in my tent and felt very rough. It was SO hot and I was SO dehydrated and SO SO hungover! I felt like shit. Needless to say that I don’t really remember much about Friday. Was still drunk! All American Rejects were pretty good though! Started drinking again after the music had finished and the sun had gone down. Wasn’t a huge session though as my body couldn’t take it. Saturday saw the arrival of Holly. Wooo! It also saw the first England World Cup match so I watched that on one of the big screens with Baz drinking cider. Nice. Crap game, good result, great atmosphere. Then proceeded to get pissed again and watch a few bands including Bullet For My Valentine and the mighty Metallica who were by far the highlight of the whole weekend. They were awesome. They played for a good 2 and three quarter hours and playing the whole of The Master Of Puppets album to mark its 20 year anniversary. Wow. We went and watched a load of semi-naked women dancing and weirdoes eating fire and things after that and then collapsed in a drunken heap about 4am. Sunday was another scorcher and the music was fab too. Guns n Roses headlined and after a few technical difficulties played a cracking 2 hour set to end a wicked weekend. I drove home after as I had work on Monday morning. Ouch. Still it was well worth it, another cracking festival weekend.

Roll on August and Reading!

Monday, June 12, 2006


Rocked!! I am slowly recovering....will post more about it when I feel human again, or have sobered up....!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

London, baby!

I am moving back!! Woohoo!! Hopefully in 2 weeks time. Can you tell I am slightly excited?! Ok so I dont have a job to go to as such but fuck it I'll be back in London closer to some of my favourite people and the Redback. He he he! Might go for a job there.....

I am going to be living in Shepherds Bush as my mate has bought a flat to rent out. So, if anyone wants to rent a place in London from the middle of June there are 3 furnished double bedrooms going and you will get the pleasure of living with me until January! Now that is priceless!!

Failing that, if you want a night out in London over the summer then come stay!! PARTY!!!!!!!!

Chico time...

I spent last weekend volunteering at the beautiful Abbey Stadium in Cambridge. They were holding 2 nights of music gigs to raise money for the club over the summer. They failed miserably but still it was fun. The line-up of the gigs probably didn't help their cause though. Friday night was a Queen tribute act followed by Chico and then Journey South. And Saturday saw Lee Ryan and Liberty X....

Still, it was fine by me cos I got to watch for free and I met Chico. Ha ha ha.

I asked him what the time was, like the ACTUAL time. I don't wear a watch and was asked to help with stewarding the crowd out of the ground at the end of the night (10pm) so I needed to know how long I had to do it. Chico thought I was taking the piss asking him what the time was but I genuinely wanted to know and he was the one wearing the fucking watch. Muppet. Still it was quite funny getting him to tell me the actual time and not fucking Chico wank time. He then proceeded to chat me up, the sleezy git. Although up close he is quite fit......he he he! It was an amusing night, fobbing Chico off and then walking away I glanced back to see him being mobbed by group of 14 year old girls. Surely he could get arrested for that?!!

How to impress a man the Haze way....

So, I had a guy come and stay for the weekend when my parents were away at a wedding. All was going lovely and was very nice ;-)

Saturday night we went to the local. There was a party with live music (a rarity for village life so EVERYONE was out!). I got drunk. The stella drinking at 5pm probably wasnt my best bet. Anyway all was going well and my guest was getting on with my village people (Its fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.....). However, the beer kicked in for me a little too harshly and I passed out. At the bar. In front of everyone. Thanks alcohol. I don't remember. Apparently though I was just walking to the toilet and went down on the floor "like a sack" (thanks Dave for the lovely description). I vaguely remember coming to with a crowd of people round me including my guest....I couldnt stand up and had to be driven home - I live literally a 2 minute walk from the pub. I had hit my head as well. Apparently. There was talk of getting an ambulance too. Ha ha ha. I am a classy bird me. Take a guy out to meet my friends and then get so drunk that I pass out and have to be escorted home and to bed. Nice. Adam says it is legendary Haze behaviour, I make my friends so proud.

Everytime I have been to the pub since and Dave has seen me he has shouted out "Timber....!!" Oh the hilarity!!

Tranny watch update

I have had an update on our favourite transvestite despite no longer working with the beauty!

Apparently he had 2 days of wearing "normal" mens work clothes (bar the high heels of course). For 2 days only he wore black trousers (not boot-leg or hipsters, normal mens suit trousers) and a crisp white shirt (not blouse). People were shocked and couldn't stop staring. It was like the MD coming to work wearing a flowery dress it was so unusual. Plus he was only wearing face powder for make-up. No bright blue eye shadow, mascara or lipstick. AND, he had CLEAR nail varnish instead of the usual fuchia pink. Blimey, he almost looked like a man.....except that the breasts were in. WTF???!!

How I miss the daily walk through the technical department to see what god-awful outfit he was wearing and the random chats about fattening food and flowers in the kitchen. It half tempts me to go back and work there again. Some people go to work for the job, I would go back for the tranny!!!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Elephant woman

Today I resemble the elephant woman (if she even exists or did I just make that up...!!).

So here is the story, last night I decided to have dinner with my parents for the first time in ages. Big mistake. I ate the dinner and then my mate Chris picked me up to go for a drink and a catch up. On the way to the pub my eyes start to hurt and I start to feel hot. I get out of the car and Chris informs me my left eye is swollen. I decide to ignore it and we go for a drink. I start to burn up and there is a pulse in my head. I ask Chris to take me home. I get home and feel like my head is going to explode and that I am going to pass out. Parents take one look and put me in the car and off to A&E we go! Spend a couple of hours there whilst they tell me I have had an allergic reaction to something I have eaten. No? Really? I would never have guessed....The (cute) doctor gives me anti-histamines and laughs at me saying he didnt know how swollen my face really was as he didnt know what I looked like before. Thanks. Still, he told me to take one that night and the swelling would be gone by morning. It hadnt. So I took another tablet as he had given me two...and went to the doctors. She gave me steroids and told me that i would be ok by tomorrow. It is slowly going down.

I went to the stables and the first thing Gary said to me was "What the fuck has happened to your face? You look like shit!" Thanks. Shell thought I was going to keel over and die so rushed to get me a chair to sit on and then proceeded to tell me just how bad I looked. Aren't my friends so nice and caring???!!

It turned out that Mum had been cokking prawns in the pan she used to cook our dinner and I have had minor reactions to shellfish before. Won't be eating with the parents again in a hurry! Or maybe Mum is trying to kill me???!

Now, 24 hours later the swelling is going down and I am starting to look like me again. I might actually dare to eat something later....